Victoria's Secret "Silk Charmeuse V-neck"$59, Macy's "6 Degrees Tunic Long Sleeve Henley"$32, Lulu's "Studded Rocker Top in Olive"$36.


K so this first shirt is a little spendy but it's expensive looking and I love that it has pockets. Not just because they're big right now, but also because I need pockets when I get nervous and don't know what to do with my hands like Ricky Bobby. "That just happened!!" The colors are so rich and I love the length. It hits at the most flattering point on the hips, not too long but not short enough that you're always going to be pulling on it. It could also be because I want to look like the model-I don't know ok? Get off my back! I just finished watching Project Runway and I cannot believe that Nicholas got eliminated! His stuff didn't look anything like what you'd see worn in Greece but c'mon it was beautiful! Mostly I like watching Tim Gunn. He's so rad "Meeke et wurk". I wish I talked like him and he seems super sweet. But can I just say that I hate the phrase,"fashion forward"? Yegch! They said it tonight and I almost turned off the t.v. but I couldn't get my hand out of the Trix box fast enough. They really AREN'T for rabbits, but at the same time, we used to have a rabbit that really enjoyed Cool Ranch Doritos and Triscuits so I think it's all subjective....great...I'm hungry again. Where are those Trix?...

Aaargh!

UGH! Don't get me started! Don't EVEN get me started! So just as I was closing out that last entry, I decided to see if my dresses had been delivered. And oh to my delight, they were there, sitting on the porch in their blue bags staring up a me like, "Momma?". I was so overjoyed that I literally had to take a moment, close my eyes, put my hand on my chest and take a deep breath. I rushed to the bathroom, tore them open and began trying them on. The first was the faux wrap dress with the gold D rings. Too big but not so much that I couldn't get it altered. Next I tried on the one I've been waiting for with baited, dress-wanting, stanky breath. It's the one a few entries down in a pink/purple with the black belt. So cute with the assymetrical top. And oh my hideousness. Trust me I tried. It was way too big first off, the 3/4 sleeves are like giant tube socks with the foot lopped off, the oh so charming neckline looks like a cross between an 1800's pioneer mourning dress and what my backside will look like at 90! (ok let's be honest, 50). So in desperation I ran to my skinny mirror and tried to see if it was saveable. I pulled the excess material to the back, raised and lowered the belt, messed over and over with the neckline and did about 30 runway walks towards the mirror to see if I was imagining it's horror. Sadly ladies...I was not. I'm certainly no waif. I've got plenty of curves but I could still tell this dress could make Teri Hatcher look rotund! I am crest fallen and gloomy, that was until right after my exciting discovery I found myself plunging a toilet like my life depended on it! That was the cherry on the proverbial sunday! So even though I know that in the bigger picture, this is ridiculously lame and trivial, I am still a little lit. Especially since they billed me double for shipping! I swear I could air-punch cotton candy right now! So long story long, my quest for the perfect dress continues. I'm outty 5,000.

Spiegel "Silk dress"$79, Spiegel "Signature Modal Jersey collection wrap dress"$59,Dillards"Haven Willow Sweater dress"$108.

I LOVE these dresses. The silk one is so gorgeous. The middle one also comes in other colors and extra crispy. This is my fave thing about dresses; I'm lazy while wanting to look good but those things usually don't exist happily in the same cosmic space. SO, I decided to give up skirts(kind of). The truth is actually that I CANNOT stand skirts. Between the bottom of your shirt, and the top of your skirt and hose/tights, there's just too much going on for my incredibly low patience level. Which is where dresses come in-shocker? They feel so good. Seriously, wearing a dress instead of skirt makes me happy as a tick on a fat dog. What? So check these out. PEACE!

All 3 from Charlotte Russe. "Floral Knit Top"$20, "Scarf Print Top"$20, "Military Band Jacket"$35.

Love, love, love all 3 of these. They'd both look good with the jacket and the Sargeant Pepper Band would've looked good in pleather. Worn with a weathered pair of jeans or with a cute black pencil skirt and some sweet heels, long chain necklace and a bangle bracelet-Noice! "Do not pass go! Do not collect $300 dollars."

Overstock "Eliza J Purple Floral Jersey Dress"$59, Chadwick's "Belted Sheath Dress"$49, Overstock"Eliza J Black/Creme Floral Jersey Dress"$59.

Modest dresses are one of the hardest things to find on the net or in stores. They're either too short, too low, too see-through or just super uggo. And some of us even have to resort to...tee shirts under EVERYTHING. Let's just say that's a no go for me. Anyhooter, I've bought all three of these dresses and they're fab. (I'm still waiting on the 2nd one.) I have more where these came from but HOLY ORANGUTANS they're hard to find! And by that I mean cute ones. I feel like I've seen almost every modest dress known to the internet and trust me it took some crazy scavenging to find what I have! So I hope you like these ones as much as I do.

Victoria's Secret "Italian Merino Wool Puff-Sleeve Sweater"$49, Victoria's Secret"Boucle Bomber Sweater"$49, Victoria's Secret"Tuxedo Shirt"$38.

Don't we all wish we looked like this? WELL NOW YOU CAN!!! just kidding...I love these tops because these would never get old (except for when they're old) and they're all below $50. Which to some, may not seem like a bargain, but you have to remember that I'm talking about making your closet better for longer. Instead of buying all kinds of crap you only "kind of" like, use the same amount of money to have a slightly smaller wardrobe full of killer clothes. Think, think, think about it.

Alloy's "Taylor Plaid Button Down"$37, Alloy's "Ballett Neck Cable Tunic"$36, Alloy's"Joleen Peasant Top"$29

Here are some sweet tops from Alloy that are all under $40. Really cute and definately more classic than all the neon, 80's barf we're seeing right now. Years later you won't look back on these pictures and think," If only someone had told me I looked like a Ferrari lovin', Max Headroom quoting, gag me with a spoon, day-glo, nut case!" Take comfort in that...